Leaving all over.

I left the school to be my teacher.
I left the rulers to be my master.
I left society to be my own... 

I´ll be saved if He (God) wants me to be saved.

That´s not my personal decision solely.

If I cannot prevail here, if I cannot sort earthly and material things out of my daily living, no matter what I trust or desire to be here.

How could I sort the eternals out? ( Believing, with disbelievings? )

I challenged God to show up His love, much more than in that way He showed Jesus Christ or to any in the real experiences of life He made for His chosen ones: In the past and in the present also. 

Such a LOVE is an eternal decision He could make, same way we have had and tried with our wifes, children, family or neighbors on the block.

These are my bottom line beliefs or disbeliefs.

He knows me better than I am.

His love is perfect, I´m lacking everything (He knows it).

Could I add anything to be higher than being a stupid human, a sinner, using the brain and the tools He gave me to walk this earthly passing away?

I could not live a life pleasing Him, although I´ll keep on trying to see what I´d achieve but, anything bigger than my human thinking cannot be easily reached.