Trading Emotions.

These days I've been sharing with a nice lady. She is honest and transparent enough to reorganize her life to keep on living with someone else. She often says she doesn't deserve a man or that she is not the one a man would marry... Why? Believe me I like her and know her enough to give me a try, but we could be unequally yoked because I lack many things she would miss later on, and she has shown me -several times- she shrinks for fears or would turn back because of my beliefs and style life.

I like to train myself on these things of trading emotions. Years ago, I would regret not being the one I was. I could dislike not getting anything to please me for a while. I would walk to get sexual gratification or anything not really glued with real love or holy motivations. I would fail choosing and could “help” others to fail with me. 

Finding someone, for you or others is not easy. You may find someone you'd like to keep for yourself. You have found many you thought they were for you and, this is happening all over the world, for centuries.

Fears are alive like a wounded heart. We hurt (and are being hurt) while learning the best way and our heart is not a safe compass to find the person we think is missing: A compass never points up to heaven. It doesn't give you real directions like those moving stars pointing out on changing dreams. It just tells you're a human being and seldom tells where you go...

Transparency is a must on Christianity and life business. Some people love to take, search and destroy, but I tried to settle down.

That friend I got is like that. Perhaps we're not those ones we missed, not those we would like to keep and belong, but the search of love is not over. I'm not the possessor of her dreams.

There's not a way to shut up a talking heart which longs to share itself, willing to receive more than to give. There's nothing bigger than the joy of giving and receiving love. Perhaps we have become selfish, too self-centered while asking to receive -rather than giving- but I also see God is willing to give Himself, for love. The present-day example is Jesus: He died to pay for the death penalty I deserve. I'm not an Israelite, I'm not too Jewish; but my whole life's transgressions are as bad as those any has done, according to God's will.

Guilt serves you to change and make some amendments. Some people lack the notion of guilt and keep on hurting and doing things the way they´re pleased. A thieve does what he does and could be caught any time. He would not regret his faults, but the hand which seizes him or her. In a jail, sentenced to death penalty, very few of them would consider sin as it is. Some would think about their ultimate transgressions, but see how some may react (and failed) when lacking some amount of guilt, same way those thieves did on their crosses at Jesus' crucifixion. What did we need to turn and repent?

I said my friend I would consider dating a Pemon Indian or a Missionary for dating. Pemon people have a couple of things I have now. Missionaries have learned to live a simple life, centered in Christ, owning few things to live, although I became a kind of hermit, trying to avoid common people and the things they like to do or enjoy.

I wish I could meet an open-minded Amish. I guess they don't have an irregular Internet connection like me, who got a Skype account like truehermit1 …  But I like to entertain on that, perhaps, I'd find common grounds with those who retired in their seclusion or personal/social isolation. Who knows? (Only God knows).

There are millions who long to be loved, but are willing to sacrifice nothing... Today, by the way, someone told me he is willing to marry a young girl of 16. I told him that it would be unsafe for him, since she soon would like to date a younger man -he is of 51- but is nurturing the idea of having someone “at home”. Could he find a hommie girl? I know, according to my experience, not owning the complete truth, that marriage could be a whole life process (or a time wasted). We like the benefits of it and often tend to bypass the godly commitment to pay part of its real price.

If we men like beauty, women seek safety. If we see their legs, they looked at working hands or strong arms. I won't say they don't like your sexy tattoos but, not all of them are crazy or materialistic.

Each person is different. Some may have likeness, but we're not alike. Traditionally men sought for younger women, today we see old ladies marrying younger men too. Do we have a law or moral code on that? I guess we have no special law to keep someone, except loyalty, faithfulness, to avoid cheating (which is a hypocritical lying).

We are in the process to understand that dating two or more persons during a week (or a month) is very close to cheating. Your emotions can be trading with evil desires, but it's up to you whom you pay and give your attentions.

Your emotional stability depends on God and your relation to other people. You can't be fine when  lying or hurting others. Can you buy love at stores? How long LOVE is sold at any market place?

No one -but you- knows what you like. No one knows what you lack nor the suffering of your life, except God, your loved ones, and those you gave a tip of your life and time.

Female needs are:

Ears to be heard.

Arms to be hugged and cared.

Eyes to be seen and admired.

Mind to be honored and loved.

Generous hands to give, rather than taking (although tendency is receiving than giving)

Each life has the record of their right or wrong. These are not written on public papers, but are written on the minds of those we touched and on those we hurt... I just want few time to turn to those I hit because, those who left or despised me with reasons (and out of reason) would be blessed the moment I leave them free if I forgive.

Those who went away lacked nothing from you (or me), except what they kept on seeking outside, in other persons they met. I came here to SERVE many, same way I was served first. I will not look at my circumstances, but at the healing, at love processes... I came here to learn and simply live.